In the Last Word tradition of melding environmental responsibility with outlaw glamor, this web page lists all the times I have disobeyed the posted speed limit on a bicycle and my own personal bike speed records.

I began using a bicycle regularly during the gas crisis of 2001, and I have a speedometer to measure the rate at which I plow the hulking velocipede along the Tri-State's buckled roads. To speed in a car is seldom cause for boasting, unless it's well above the speed limit, since folks do it all the time. Besides, cars are dangerous polluters, and an unregulated insurance racket makes the cost of owning a car prohibitive for us lowly peasantry. Bikes are much cleaner for the environment, and if I (of all people) can safely control a bike at the speeds at which I defied the signed speed limits, it shall be assumed that the speed limit is too low for that stretch of road.

I commute to work and to the library using my 18-speed, and I constantly strive for more efficient--i.e., faster--speeds. The law is no barrier to the actions of the Bathroom Bandit, and time is too precious to waste putzing along at 6 MPH, especially when so many Republican idiots who talk on cell phones while driving expensive SUVs don't seem to understand that they're not allowed to turn left at red lights into bicyclists who are using the crosswalk.

And no, I don't wear a helmet. If that was a law, I'd violate it too--unlike a yuppie moron.

BROKEN SPEED LIMITS (on roadways, not sidewalks):
22 MPH in 20 MPH zone
, Berry Avenue, Bellevue KY, 7/27/01
20 MPH in 15 MPH zone, O'Fallon Avenue, Dayton KY, 8/15/01
11 MPH in 10 MPH zone, roadway for Big Lots shopping center, Bellevue KY, 9/16/01
18 MPH in 15 MPH zone, roads in Devou Park, Covington KY, 3/14/02

FASTEST SPEED: 32 MPH, Amsterdam Road (roadway), Villa Hills KY, 9/4/01 (just minutes before the "accident" with an SUV)

FASTEST SPEED ON ROADWAY: 32 MPH, Amsterdamn Road, Villa Hills KY, 9/4/01

FASTEST SPEED ON SIDEWALK: 20 MPH, Riviera Drive, Bellevue KY, 9/1/01

FASTEST SPEED ON PARKING LOT: 19 MPH, Big Lots shopping center, Bellevue KY, 8/26/01