the last word (tm)

Vol. 19/No. 2 - 457th issue – June 11, 2010
lastword@bunkerblast.info - http://www.bunkerblast.info - Bellevue, Kentucky
CHECK OUT THE ONLINE LUNCHPAIL AT http://onlinelunchpail.blogspot.com

FROM STATESMAN TO LACKEY

Gentleladies and gentlemen, I've just wasted 19 years of my life - and yours.

When you invest your whole adult existence in supporting a candidate for public office, the last thing you need is for him to abandon the principles that won your support. But a certain Kentucky politico - who I've backed since 1991 - recently did exactly that.

I speak of Gatewood Galbraith - once a voice of populism, personal freedom, and working Kentuckians. (He was one of few politicians who we consistently said anything good about.) Galbraith's '91 campaign for governor helped free me of a youth full of darkness and terror. In a matter of days, I went from being a War on Drugs fellow traveler to an advocate for marijuana legalization. Lately, however, Galbraith has effectively moved backwards just as quickly as I once moved ahead.

Galbraith - a candidate for governor again in 2011 - accomplished this mind-numbing declivity in April by speaking to an extreme-right Tea Party rally. I wouldn't have faulted him for this if he used this as an opportunity to condemn the Tea Parties' racism right in front of their fugly faces. But he didn't, even though the movement's fascism was well documented by then.

Generally, the Tea Parties' stances are diametrically opposed to Galbraith's historic base of support. Galbraith had long supported organized labor - but the Tea Parties explicitly oppose it. (Galbraith conveniently waited until after winning the United Mine Workers' endorsement before attending April's Tea Party.) Galbraith long ago endorsed legalizing marijuana, but the Tea Parties almost exclusively attract authoritarian drug war followers. (Their Facebook activity bears this out.)

When many of Galbraith's supporters called him out on his Facebook page about why in the fuckola he's frolicking with Tea Party eighthwits, he spluttered and attacked his own (now former) supporters just for asking. Is that how statesmen act? I should think not. You expect this behavior from Ross Perot, not Gatewood Galbraith.

Tea Parties not populist

As you know, I claim to be populist - and far from conservative. Yet I believe other people have melded conservatism and populism much better than the Tea Parties do. That's cuz the Lipton Lugnuts aren't populist. Populism isn't about bigotry-fueled public fits of petulance. Nor is it about corporations and right-wing think tanks paying people to hold signs about how rough the rich have it. (The Tea Parties are corporate-funded.)

As another gnawing example of Galbraith's recent decay, his ticket has glommed onto T. Boone Pickens's self-serving energy plan. After Pickens helped bankroll the Swiftboat liars' attacks on John Kerry, any ounce of credibility Pickens may have ever had is in tatters.

Gatewood Galbraith is a former legend who appears to be ending his political career as a sorry footnote. This is worse than sad. A man who did so much for Kentucky is now costing himself almost all of his political support, and he'll never get it back.

FLYER, FLYER, EVERYWHERE A FASCIST FLYER...

I think you might like to know what the Tea Party complainocrats have been up to.

I monitored the rally in Covington in April. (I also heckled the brownshirts as they marched around the IRS building.) During the event, participants handed out flyers that urged, "Sterilize Welfare Mothers." They taped one such flyer to a railroad trestle:

The Tea Parties are demanding welfare recipients get sterilized - a stance that echoes the Nazis. Yet the media actually calls the Tea Party movement "libertarian" - which proves that some in the media have never cracked open a political science textbook in their wasted lives.

Keep tellin' 'em, media. Keep tellin' the world you're full of shit, just like the Nastea Nazis are.

FACEBOOK FASCISM

O, how the mighty have fallen! (As you'll see, that's pretty much the theme of this ish.)

In our previous edition, we told you of Facebook lowering the boom on a recruitment fan site for right-wing extremists. It was a welcome move. (Incidentally, many Brossart alumni frequented and enjoyed this group, which was full of classist and racist propaganda. Shows you what Brossart was teaching, huh? No surprise, as Bro$$art was only the most racist school I ever attended. This also proves Brossart isn't very Christian, because nobody who has ever read one word of the Bible in their lives would support that fan site.)

But after Facebook deleted that fan site, one just like it expanded to fill the "void." I'd noticed there were actually several like it waiting to be unleashed in case Facebook deleted the first one. Like there was really a gnawing need for such a fan site?

It was clear from this that the continued maintenance of a group like this was a coordinated effort by right-wing operatives.

Instead of closing the new fan site, however, Facebook let it remain. Facebook has also allowed a right-wing fan site that tries to solicit President Obama's assassination. In fact, Facebook has openly defended that page. (A majority of Brossart alumni who I've found on Facebook are on that fan site. That's because Brossart taught that shit.)

This unfolded right at the same time Facebook suddenly fell to shambles by starting up that "like" garbage about fan sites and getting rid of the convenient classmate lists.

But what really proved there was a burst to the extreme right at Facebook was its new policy of yanking the accounts of anybody who dared to disagree with these right-wing hate sites. Like brownshirts roughing up folks who disagreed with Nazi speeches, Facebook expelled users who disagreed with the Nazi propaganda ministry that flourished on Facebook fan sites. Facebook kicked off several people who were on my friends list because they disagreed with the Nazi group I've been monitoring.

It gets worse. Facebook deleted one of my posts that criticized that group - even though it wasn't even posted on that group.

Because of this, my policy is to use the "flag" option for every post I see supporting the Nazi fan site. This annoys Facebook to the very core - and Facebook so deserves it.

Included among the posts I flag are those by the liars who keep claiming they saw a welfare recipient using food stamps to buy lobster and driving an Escalade. I find it rather interesting how the Pinocchios on Facebook keep seeing this same person in all 50 states buying the very same item and driving the very same vehicle - even though I didn't even know what an Escalade was until I saw this story being repeated. The whole tale is a class-baiting lie, and there's a coordinated effort by molesteradio and right-wing blogs to spread it. (For years, the Republican National Committee has hired operatives to spread talking points on the Internet.)

Another lie from the lying liars is how they all claim they know somebody who's lived high on the hog from collecting welfare for 20 years straight. This is impossible, because the welfare "reform" law placed stiff lifetime limits on how long you can collect.

Congress or state legislatures need to ask Facebook to reveal who in its employ made the decision to delete dissidents' accounts and postings. And somebody at Facebook needs to be hauled before lawmakers to answer some tough questions about the Nazi recruitment that plagues their system. The FCC should ask that TV and radio stations cover the hearings - because it's that important.

Our national security is at stake. America has long faced a threat from homegrown right-wing extremists, and they must be watched and exposed.

A REPUBLIC...IF WE CAN KEEP IT

The Last Word doesn't focus on lectures like this much these days, but I think right now a political science lesson from Professor Bandit is in order.

America was never meant to be a pure democracy. Understood? It was designed to be a democratic republic. What's the difference? A republic is based on the rule of law. And that includes inalienable rights - which you can't vote to take away.

So I don't always buy the argument that it's too hard to get referendums placed on the ballot. I can sympathize with this argument, but I don't agree with it. If people vote to take away others' inalienable rights, America's in trouble.

Yes, over 50% of voters can be wrong. And while an occasional misguided lapse in voters' judgment is understandable, I have no patience with those who are deliberately ignorant. Inalienable rights are not granted by government but are naturally endowed in every person. As a society, we are expected and obligated by nature to recognize these rights.

This applies to both social and economic issues. For people to be intentionally parviscient enough to vote against both their own interests and the rights of their fellow citizenry is a grave trespass against ethical standards and truths.

A pure democracy would be 2 cats and a mouse voting on what's for dinner. Indeedity-doodledy, a pure democracy would be worse, because voters' feelings would be too easily exploited by demagogues.

A republic is what's given to us, and we're expected to have the courage to keep it. Just because the ravings of a few talk radio and blog loudmouths are considered so important that everybody else has to claw and scratch just to get a word in edgewise is no reason to ditch the rule of law.

GOOGLE NAZISM

If Lex Luthor's soul is in a mayonnaise jar underneath Google's swanky HQ, somebody must have loosened the lid.

Google used to be respected and successful at almost everything it did. But lately, everything Goofle touches has turned to shit - and the way it runs its AdSense program is pure wickedness.

Since 2007, we at The Last Word have sponsored the left-leaning populist blog The Online Lunchpail. The 'Pail was supported by AdSense ads until April. That's when Google yanked our BadSense account.

Google refused to specify why, and there appears to be no way to restart our account. According to Wikipedia, if you appeal Google's disabling of your account, your e-mail is directed to an address Google doesn't read.

Worse, we still had hundreds of dollars coming to us from AdSense - and Google refuses to pay us. We don't even know the exact amount, because our account is disabled and we can't get into it.

The real reason Google pulled our BadSense account is clear: Google disagrees with our politics. That is the reason. This never happens to conservative blogs. As in other departments of modern conservatism, no dissent is tolerated in Googleland.

Google AdSense stole money from us - and they've gotten away with it. So far.

They pulled the same vexing shenanigan with some other feller a year or two ago. The victim sued Google and initially won - but Goofle appealed and had this ruling reversed.

Congress or the states need to pass laws to require Google to give back the money it's stolen from AdSense publishers - and nullify judicial rulings to the contrary. The power to right this wrong should flow from the gangly limb of the law.

One of the following WILL happen: 1) We will either get back every ha'penny Google thieved from us; or 2) we will make sure we are made whole in some other fashion. That means ploppings, and they're gonna be beauts.

It's your call, Google.

NEW BOOK NOW IN STORES!
(and more Brossart ridicule!)

My new book A Mind's Smithereens is now available from booksellers. This follows a major snafu caused by the book industry changing its guidelines and forcing me to resubmit my book with a separate page with just the ISBN number. Shoulda known they'd do that. The industry only changes its guidelines once every 3 months or so.

Incidentally, they adopted this rule after I published my new book but before it went to booksellers - which is why I had to go through the trouble of resubmitting it.

Here's the announcement I posted on the Brossart alumni group on Facebook announcing my book's Amazon appearance:

"My new book 'A MIND'S SMITHEREENS' is now available on Amazon! You can also order it direct from the publisher Lulu.com (which costs the same), but because most of you probably want me to make as little money as possible from it, I know you've been waiting weeks for it to arrive on Amazon."

The Brossart Taliban isn't gonna like that message - especially because I ragged on them for not wanting me to enjoy economic advancement.

To recap, you can now order A Mind's Smithereens from any of these links:

http://www.lulu.com/content/8443416 (recommended)
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?isbn=9780557351725
http://www.amazon.com/Minds-Smithereens-Tim-Brown/dp/0557351723

(Incidentally, this list of links includes something that had never appeared before in the 17-year history of The Last Word. Can you spot it?)

Meanwhile, the humiliation of the Bro$$art thought police continues. For my Facebook status, I wrote:

"Message for BBHS: Respect our President. We may not all agree with him - but please stop teaching students to pray for his death."

I'm still expecting the right-wing deluge following my observation that Brossart has promoted the disgusting Facebook page that supports Obama's assassination.

'LAWN CHAIR QUARTERBACK' IS ON THE OFFENSE!

In the tradition of Last Word expansion into other media (which so far has included blogs and our now-defunct pirate radio station), we now have a weekly 10-minute show called Lawn Chair Quarterback.

We call it this because we don't just couch-potato around. We go out in the field and take action - much like when I helped get the abusive Pathway Family Center cult shut down. And - like a football quarterback - we're on the offense. We're no longer on the defense where we were through much of the '90s and '00s.

We started LCQ on May 14, and you can find the episodes we've made so far here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/bandit957

Episodes so far have discussed the ever-amusing Senate candidate Rand Paul, Facebook tyranny, psychiatric poisonings, and more!

Unfortunately, YouTube offers no way to separate our LCQ episodes from our other videos - despite what YouTube claimed when it "upgraded" recently. What a big bust that "upgrade" was, huh? So you'll have to battle your way through our other videos to peep our new series of shows.

The YouTube "upgrade." The Big Lie.

MONTHLY MORON MOTORIST

Few things about America's Lost Decade (the 2000s) will be remembered fondly. But our "Monthly Moron Motorist" feature sure is! So now we're bringing back this feech to expose the Garanimals whose bad driving skills we encounter regularly.

The trend lately is for bad motorists to try to get us to disobey stop signs and traffic lights on the Peace Bike - just so they can either go ahead themselves, or park in a parking space that they think they're entitled to. More and more, they seem to accompany it with the arm dance that permeated the Bangles' "Walk Like An Egyptian" video, as they point at said traffic signal. (But they don't have the foghorn sound effects like in the Lawn Chair Quarterback report.)

The Monthly Moron Motorist for April was encountered on the north side of Cincinnati. There, a gaunt motorist driving a white van that appeared to be a business vehicle nearly plowed into the Peace Bike as he turned off Winton Road and onto a ramp for the Ronald Reagan Highway. He refused to yield, and he behaved as if this near-miss was my fault.

He nearly ran up my national debt, didn't he?

The Monthly Moron Motorist for May was met in Newport. As I was going northeast on 6th, I stopped at the stop sign. A young woman going southeast on Saratoga stopped at her stop sign, but when she continued, I saw her mouthing the words, "You weren't supposed to stop!"

Um, yes I was. When stop signs say stop, man, do they ever mean stop! Otherwise, they wouldn't be stop signs. I don't know what they'd be, but they damn sure wouldn't be stop signs!

SORORITIES CHANNEL BROSSART

Brrring! Channel Brossart! (To the tune of the old Channel 9 jingle.)

How toiletymost is this story?

I now present a saga of woe and destruction at college parties that makes the lavatory vandalism at Brossart dances sound as tame as a Get Along Gang special in comparison. It's shocking! You'll scratch your heads in awe!

In April, a sorority at Miami University of Ohio conducted a formal dance at a lodge in Hamilton that went awry from the moment it beginned. It prompted an angry letter from the lodge complaining about partygoers' behavior.

Despite a bus trip of only a few miles from the university to the lodge, revelers repeatedly made the driver stop to let them pee along the road. That's because they were already drunk even before they left for the event. (A sheriff's department report even used the word peeing.)

One of the young women who attended the party damaged a toilet, prompting the lodge to place an "OUT OF ORDER" sign on the stall door. But then another partygoer ripped the sign down and argued with a lodge staffer about it. Then 2 partygoers tried to pee in the restroom sink.

A male student who was at the party inexplicably flipped over an entire appetizer table. This caused red meatball sauce to splatter all over the carpets. The sauce was ground into the rug by people walking through it.

When the caterer stopped serving alcohol because folks were too drunk, some of the partygoers climbed over the bar and grabbed libations themselves. Also, 2 males disrobed and jumped in the lake at the lodge. Folks also grabbed the lodge's crystal table decorations and threw them off the deck, which shattered them. The lodge had some weddings scheduled for this summer that were supposed to use these vases, but now the vases are ru. Somebody also shit on the side of the building.

Two partygoers were found in the caterer's closet having sex on the tables.

Because of this, the lodge will no longer allow any sorority or fraternity from Miami U. to hold events there ever again. And Miami U. suspended the sorority.

Over at Ohio University, this same sorority is accused of laying hulk to an art gallery in West Virginia during a formal ball. According to the Parkersburg Art Center, participants did almost $50,000 in damage. The gallery claims that partygoers dumped drinks on floors, threw liquor at the ceiling, and had sex on top of a sink (which pulled the sink from the wall). Numerous tablecloths were reportedly ruined by vomit.

Damaging lodges is one thing, but it saddens me to see anybody wreck galleries and museums - which exist to educate and enlighten the public. One other Miami U. sorority allegedly did exactly that during a party in March. This time, the mayhem occurred at the Freedom Center, of all places. Students reportedly peed all over the building and trashed toilets.

A third Miami sorority is also in trouble because of yet another event. According to reports, students vomited all over the bus on the return trip, which was among many behaviors that forced the driver to stop the trip and order everyone off the bus. The bus service has now banned this sorority for good. Revelers threatened to sue the driver for kicking them off his bus.

Come on, folks! Is this what we expect from college students? I was known to have a little fun in my college years. You know, smearing taco sauce on record players in the studio for broadcasting class, and that sort of stuff. But I cringe when people desecrate hallowed museum artifacts or put priceless artworks at risk.

Miami University disciplined the 3 sororities in this story. I don't know whether NKU would have done the same. When I went to NKU, fraternities and sororities held a disproportionate amount of influence. In 1994, The Last Word ran a parody consisting of a contest form from NKU that was filled out with gag answers mocking well-connected pledges. Nobody in 2010 would even get the jokes, but the piece drove home the point well.

One thing is almost a guarantee: NKU probably would not have punished a sports team that behaved in this manner, judging by what I've seen.

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(Copywrong 2010)
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